She Bangs, She Bangs!

A woman’s hair is her crowning glory, according to the Bible and the prolific, fundamentalist Duggar family. But do certain hair styles incite irrational emotion in others? I’m not talking about mullets; I’m referring to good ole bangs.

Confession: I have had bangs off and on since I was 4 years old. Personally, I think I look better with them, then without. I have what Tyra Banks might call a five head or what I describe as the quintessential Scottish forehead. Either way, I love my bangs. But not everyone agrees. I’ve noticed a funny thing about bangs. Like the current president, there is no middle ground on bangs—people either love them or hate them. And this strong reaction can cause strangers to form odd opinions about those who choose to wear this style.

If you google women and bangs, you’ll probably get porn. But if you adjust your search criteria, you’ll find a plethora of websites bemoaning or glorifying a silly, little hairstyle. One article from allure.com discussed how uploading a Tinder picture with bangs increased matches by almost double. But before you get fringe to up your Tinder game, please note that this was a very unscientific study that was probably dependent on the overall attractiveness of the woman posting. Still, studies have shown that people who generate extreme instant reactions do better on dating apps than those who fall into the more mediocre category. Another story from Jezebel urges women to just say no to fringe. Even Kate Middleton famously hated her “mum fringe” when she experimented with the style.

But my own experiences have told me that people do judge those of us who wear the fringe.  When I was dating, I tended to attract artsy/musician types (translation – unemployed). Occasionally, I’d meet a guy who had some sort of human doll fetish. ::Shudders:: Once a very outspoken coworker told me she didn’t trust women who had bangs. When I asked why, she replied they seemed like the type who would steal your husband. Really?!

As a married mom of two, I get the “you must be quirky like Zooey Deschanel” thing a lot. The thing is, I’m not. But apparently my bangs are a strong enough fashion statement that they define my personality before I even speak.

But quirky, adulterous, and human doll aren’t the only statements bangs make. Let’s take a look at some famous bangs:

Anna Wintour
Vogue editor Anna Wintour wears them fashionably aloof.

8363a9319323fb8112d21311f840098e
Former First Lady Michelle Obama wears them fierce.

Goldie Hawn
Actress, Goldie Hawn embodied the free spirit flower child.

Zooey Deschanel
Actress Zooey Deschanel the quintessential millennial nerd girl.

At the end of the day, bangs take courage and upkeep. It’s an investment, like dyeing your hair any shade of red. It can transform a person from “meh” to a stand out. But with power comes much responsibility. Bang aficionados must be prepared to deal with the accompanying attention – good or bad. So if you are bold enough and patient enough to rock the fringe, then do so with your head held high. Screw the haters.

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